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[jeoha]

Lee Chang
missives | encounters

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[downswing]

( If there is a pause, a hesitation, a deterrent — if he lets himself simply exhale and be —

He will survive the following question. Must. )


There is purity in him. Do you see it?

[jeoha]

[ do you really think he's gonna be able to badmouth your wife in front of you lan wangji

oh wait yeah he probably wouldn't hold back because he has zero fucks left anymore, but: ]

I know some who would call it naivety. [ A pause. ] But he is... yes. There is an idealism in him.

[ Purity, though... Lee Chang has long since stopped believing that anyone was truly 'pure'. Even the most loyal, the most steadfast, the closest friend--

No. Enough. Let such thoughts lie, left in the world where they came from. ]

I just hope it doesn't come to backfire upon him.

[downswing]

I dishonour him to ask, watch over him.

[jeoha]

[ Could he even be trusted with such a task? He had been as blind to betrayal as anyone. ]

... I will do my best, of course.

Though I hope more to empower you to do so.

[downswing]

( Surprisingly, a light tone: )

Have you wedded? Fathered? Widowed?

[jeoha]

... No.

It would have had weight, once. It would no longer.

[downswing]

You learn they are not exercises of empowerment.

Only, chance.

[jeoha]

[ He can't help but let out a small breath of a laugh.

The concept of marriage or fatherhood being something other than an exercise of power was a foreign one. ]

What I mean to say is that it was not a matter of chance, for me. They were not my choices to make.


But perhaps, now, you are right.

[downswing]

...you intend to seek a wife?

[jeoha]

[ Well, when put that way— ]

Ah. No. [ Pretty sure Mingyu would have something to say about that. ]

I mean more that my future is… more mine to make.

[downswing]

We all live captives of duty.

[jeoha]

Duty, or greed, and I agree I far prefer the former.

[ A pause. ]

Forgive me. I am mulling about things long past, and hardly relevant now. But no, I have no such family to call my own. I take it he is yours?

[downswing]

( ...ah. And the political answer: )

I choose him.

[jeoha]

[ Or at least as political as Wangji gets. There is a pause, then a gentle warmth in his voice when he replies: ]

I understand. I wish you both well.